If Only My Tears Could Bring You Back
by 8D SerenityCrystal Tear 83
Summary: Misha's world turned to darkness when Kotaroh took his life away. She knew he'd never come back; but even so, she had a hope - no matter how foolish it was - that he was still out there, waiting for her. . . . *My take on what happened after the tragedy*


_My third one-shot! My first one-song-shot! . . . Eh. Not the good name, but first thing that came to mind. :P Anyway, I don't think it's my best, but I really wanted to do this, so yeah. XD_

_This is pretty much my take on what happened between Kotaroh dying, and Misha returning to Heaven. My take, however, won't come until near the end. From the comment about the splash to the tragic scene, it's pretty much all Lesson 42: How to Find Yourself part 2, from volume 7 of Pita-Ten - but in Misha's point of view._

_Okay? Got it? Great!_

_**Disclaimer:** No, I do not own Pita-ten or any of the characters. They all belong to the great, Koge Donbo! I also don't own the song, _If Only Tears Could Bring You Back_ by the Midnight Sons. It belongs to its respected company and musicians._

_Now let's get this rollin'!_

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><p><strong>If Only My Tears Could Bring You Back<strong>

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><p>I watched as my older sister flew off into the night sky, practically ordering me to be back in Heaven before midnight. When Sasha had disappeared within the twinkling stars, I sighed heavily. <em>What about Kotaroh-kun?<em> I thought. _How am I going to break it to him? I won't even be with him that long tonight, since I have to beat the clouds. . . ._ My eyes began to sting, but I just shook my head, as if that would help rid the coming tears. _Kotaroh-kun. . . . Sweet, sweet, Kotaroh-kun. What am I suppose to do? Just leave you here to go back to Heaven? Leave you where things are rough and brutal? Where you'll be so sad and feel like centuries will pass before you're able to be happy?_

I sucked in a breathed, my brief depression fading away, and replaced by anger. _I can't leave him! I can't leave him when he's just starting to try!_ I balled my hands into tight fists while gritting my teeth. _A few days. . . . Just a few more days. Surely they'd understand if they see Kotaroh-kun trying his hardest! Then I could stay for a while longer!_

As fast as my sadness faded, my anger did as well. Now I was left feeling self-pity. I sighed deeply, and that's when I heard a splash. It sounded so intense.

_Ooh,_ I thought._ Now that was a loud splash. I wonder if somethin' fell?_ Although I felt it as no big deal, this great feeling of dread and anxiety suddenly washed over me. Threatening to drown me with its thickness.

_How will I start_

_Tomorrow without you here_

_Who's heart will guide me_

_When all the answers disappear_

Before I realized it myself, I was already up on my feet and walking through the bushes and trees, searching for the spot where the splash came from. But every second felt like an hour. Every step closer felt like another step farther. Every breath I took felt like I wasn't getting air at all!

The heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach grew larger and heavier, and larger and heavier, until I felt as if I could collapse on my knees and throw up at any moment. My eyes stung painfully as they got ready to well up, but I didn't let them.

_What's wrong with me?_ the weak, pitiful voice in my mind asked. _Why am I feeling this way?_ I bit my lip as my pace grew a little faster. _Is it because something happened?_ My pace grew faster._ Something terrible?_ I was jogging now.

I stopped abruptly shortly afterward. At first I scanned the area, then the treetops, then the ground. . . . Yes. I was avoiding looking at the lake. But finally, I did. . . .

_Is it too late?_

_Are you too far gone to stay_

_This one's forever_

_Should never have to go away_

I let out a high-pitched scream while my shaking hands slowly made their way to my face. "Oh, my goodness!" I took a second or two, scanning the body that lay floating in the lake's water. "Wait, that's – !"

_What will I do?_

_You know, I'm only half without you_

_How will I make it through?_

My heart stopped. I recognized that white shirt – and those shorts! . . . And that familar patch of lavender hair. " . . . !" I gasped, but nothing came out. I sucked in a breath and tried again. "Kotaroh-kun, are you all right!"

_If only tears could_

_Bring you back to me_

_If only love could_

_Find a way_

No answer. "Did you fally-wall?"

No response. "Suu?"

No movement. "Um, Kotaroh-kun?" I gulped.

_What I would do,_

_What I would give_

_If you returned to me_

_Someday_, somehow, someway

The water rippled heavily as my feet splashed their way toward the body of my dearest friend. I reached out to his short hair, but stopped just before making contact. I had just remembered that I am an angel. _Oh, no! I can't touch him._ Panic surged through my veins in a heated rush. "Are you awwight!" I almost screamed it out. It sounded so desperate, but I guess I had reason to be. _I can't even get him outta the water!_

_If my tears could bring_

_You back to me_

_What can I do?_ I asked myself. I hate feeling so helpless!_ What can I do? Think, think, think!_ My mouth went dry when I saw the slightest movement come from Kotaroh-kun.

_I'd cry you an ocean_

_If you'd sail on home again_

_Wings of emotion,_

_Will carry you,_

_I know they will can_

"Uh. . . . " his voice spoke. Kotaroh-kun is alive! " . . . Mi . . . sha . . . sa – "

"Oh, Kotaroh-kun!" I interrupted.

" . . . "

"Don't worries, um. . . . I . . . I'm gonna help yas, okies?"

_Just let light guide you_

_And your heart will_

_Chart the course_

_Soon you'll be drifting_

_Into the arms of_

_Your true north_

"Misha . . . san. . . . " Kotaroh-kun said. It was barely over a whisper, but I could hear him. " . . . Now I . . . can be with . . . you." He smiled softly, while my heart just tightened. "All I . . . wanted was . . . to be happ – "

He was horribly cut off by a flock of ravens flying over and landing on him. My eyes were wide and I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. I couldn't move no matter how much I tried. I could only watch helplessly as the ravens fed off my best friend's body.

_Look in my eyes_

_You'll see a million_

_Tears had gone by_

_And still they're not dry_

_If only tears could_

_Bring you back to me_

_If only love could_

_Find a way_

"Kotaroh-kun. . . . " I bit my lip. I killed him. . . . I killed, Kotaroh-kun. . . .

I gasped in air. I hadn't realized I stopped breathing. I stared at the spot Kotaroh-kun was at just a few seconds ago. The ravens began to fly away.

Kotaroh-kun. . . .

_What I would do_

_What I would give_

_If you returned to me_

_Someday, somehow, someway_

_. . . Huh?_ I thought. _Why I am running?_ I blinked twice, but my feet were, indeed, running. _Where am I going?_ . . . "Kotaroh-kun . . . !" _What? Now I'm talking without meaning to as well?_ "Kotaroh-kun! Where are you?"

_I know where he's not._ I bit my lip again. _Oh, Kotaroh-kun. . . . Why did you have to go?_

_If my tears could bring_

_You back to me_

. . .

Why did I do this to myself?

I looked everywhere else besides what was in front of me. A place we – Kotaroh-kun and I – shared our secret meetings. . . . The spot beside the lake. . . . A place I have – well, _had _always treasured . . . because he would always be with me.

But . . . he's not here now. . . . And he won't be any longer. . . . I'll never see him again. . . .

_I hold you close and_

_Shout the words I only_

_Whispered before_

I felt my eyes sting again, but I did nothing to stop them this time. When a tear was just about to slide down my cheek, a faint light on the water caught my eye.

_For one more chance_

_For one last dance_

_There's nothing that_

_I would not ignore_

"Misha-san. . . . " That voice . . . ! My head snapped up toward the light, and my heart skipped a beat. "Misha-sa – no. . . . Misha." Kotaroh-kun smiled. He was glowing in a bright yellow light, standing on the water's surface.

_If only my tears could_

_Bring you back to me_

_If only love could_

_Find a way_

"Kotaroh-kun . . . ? Is that really you?"

He giggled. I wondered why, but then realized I spoke a proper sentence, instead of in my developed childish manner. I felt my face heat up, and he smiled again. "Misha, why are you upset? You should be happy!" I gazed at him blankly. "We can be together now!" I still didn't understand what he was talking about. Kotaroh-kun sighed heavily. "I'm going to Heaven, right?"

_What I would do_

_What I would give_

_If you returned to me_

_Someday, somehow, someway_

It took me another second or two, but I finally got what he was saying. "Oh, Kotaroh-kun, I – "

He shook his head. "You don't have to say anything, Misha. I don't have much time left before I go, so we can talk later, okay?"

_No, we can't!_ I cried in my mind, but I couldn't say it aloud.

_If my tears could bring_

_You back_ to me

My heart lurched. Kotaroh-kun looked at me oddly, then walked the few steps that separated us. He leaned in close, and wiped my cheek. "Why are you crying, Misha?"

_Huh?_ When had I started crying? Now that I had realized it, the tears seemed to slow. "U-Uh, I . . . I don't know, suu," I replied, half a lie.

He smiled again. "Oh! You must be crying because your happy, right?" He didn't give me a chance to answer. "I am too, Misha. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. That's why I couldn't let you go back to Heaven without me."

_How did he know about that?_

Kotaroh-kun must have read my thoughts. "I overheard you and that lady earlier." Ah. He must mean Sasha. All of a sudden, the yellow glow surrounding Kotaroh-kun began to fade, from the bottom up.

"Wha! What's happening, su?"

"I guess my time is up." He sighed, then looked up. "I was going to save this for when we meet again in Heaven, but I can't wait."

"What is it, suu?" The light was fading to his stomach now.

"Well, uh . . . um. . . . " Even though he was covered in yellow, I could faintly see some red on his cheeks. Why is he blushing? "M-M-Misha . . . I just wanted to tell you that I . . . well, I . . . I love you!" he almost yelled the last three words out.

I stood, staring at him blankly. My lack of response must've made him worry, because Kotaroh-kun started flailing his arms about – though, they were fading too, as well as his neck. "Ah, well, err. . . . Love is when, um . . . "

"I knows what it issy-is, su," I cut in, my face heating up.

"So, umm. . . ."

"I . . . I . . . I. . . . " Why can't I say it! I was going to say it tonight, anyways; but at this exact moment in time, why did I have to get so shy!

Kotaroh-kun smiled sadly, and looked down at the water. "It's okay, Misha, I understand. . . . I thought it was a farfetched dream anyway. Heh heh." He chuckled at the end, but after knowing him for so long, I could tell he was sad, disappointed, and embarrassed.

"No! Kotaroh-kun, I lo – Ah!" I interrupted myself, staring in horror as my best friend's hair and cheeks faded. "Kotaroh-kun!"

"It's okay, Misha," he said, smiling. "We can talk later. You'll have to show me around!"

"Kotaroh-kun, wait! No!" I fell to my knees and extended a hand to him. "Come back! Don't leave me! . . . Please. . . . " I heard his sad laughter as he completely vanished.

"Kotaroh-kun. . . . " I whimpered. "We can't. . . . We can't see each other anymore. . . . That's not how it works. . . . " I choked back a sob. "Oh, Kotaroh-kun, I never got to tell you. . . . And you left so unhappy. . . . "

"Of course. . . . " I said a little later; I could hear the self-pity in voice. "Of course I'd know now. . . . There was only one way you could have been happy. . . . I know now that you're gone. I'm so stupid!" I slammed my fist on the ground hard, but I ignored the pain.

"The only thing that would have made you happy. . . . The thing you never knew. . . . "

"I never got to tell you . . . "

That I love you, too.

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><p><em>Was it kinda drag-ish toward the end? It might have, I think so, but whatever.<em>

_Did you like it? Hate? Well, don't leave me to guess by myself! REVIEW! :DDD_


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